My sister....

Being the eldest brings happy emotions to me...many emotions. With 2 other younger bros, I have been living.

Since I became mature enough, enough to understand the life, the events happening around me...I had wanted a sister. A sibling sister. I hear some of my friends talking about their sisters. As I was in Majeedhiyya, I hear these stories quite often. Well, their are some times talks which you won't call so nice, but common. Like "kokko set kohdheyn v nu". Well, honestly, I don't have , didn't have, and surely will not have any of those thoughts. But I had wanted a sister.

I hear stories from few girl friends too. [NOTE: That is not Gf....it is female friends]. I listen in awe to their stories, of how they admire their brothers. How their brothers had helped them, how they have shared secrets with them, secrets from their own parents. I think it was cool. Ever since I began to understand...I wanted a sis. To help her. To share secrets. To tease. To cry with. To laugh with. To laugh at.

It was the year 2005 when I knew my mother was pregnant. I thought..."no wonder both parents were so happy lately". Well, as you may have guessed, I was happy. Very happy. I hoped it would be a girl this time.

One of my younger brothers have died in her womb, few months before birth. It was the brother next to me. She didn't give birth to him. Cesarean was done. She was in dad's island, and didn't get much medical treatment. She tells that she told repeatedly to the health assistants that there was no movement in her belly...she blamed them. I also blame them. I don't remember those days, guess I was too young.

As this incident also had happened, and it was a boy....she haven't got a girl all together... Every time after prayers, I have prayed repeatedly..."Oh God!...please let it be a girl this time....please..!" Before the waiting time came...I had so much imagination going on inside me....all these years hope. My parents dreams. I actually didn't know how I felt....

Days passed....and one day after coming home from a scanning session, she told that the doctors informed that it was a girl. Well...u know how that would make us feel. But we never believed it 100%. There was a little doubt. It is god who is responsible for these things...and there just might be a fault with the machine.....who knows....only god knows...

Finally the day came...she was in labor room. Dad was with her. I was in charge of my two brothers. Dad didn't even call even in the afternoon. Guess he was too happy to give the news. That evening a sister (dhuru dhatha eh) came and told us to get ready to visit my mom. We were excited. We got ready and went. She was in IGMH.

Walking along the corridor...towards the wards...my heart kept drumming in my chest....[it is right now even, as i am writing this part]. We entered the ward. There were so many people around my mothers bed. Some from my mothers island. Some from my fathers island. Some their friends.

I stopped in my tracks. THERE WAS NO BABY. They were all CRYING!!! I wasn't unconscious...but I wasn't conscious either...I was in a daze till I came to villingili that night...didn't even notice the ferry. I was too sad to stop crying in front of all those people...neither were my mom and dad. She got a girl....and the girl died.

I did go to her funeral...there was no kashu namadhu, as she didn't breath through her nose....yes, she died 2-3 hours before birth. The doctors are to be blamed. They had repeatedly tried, and sent her home, while she was saying that she felt pain in her stomach. At funeral I was a little calm...but at the moment dad put the cotton piece on her face...I just couldn't hold back. I cried and sobbed.

All my dreams....shattered. All my hopes... Just think how my parents would have felt. All these years hope....

But you will be there right? You may not have seen this world....but You are there right? You didn't see us....still you saw us right? Please tell me....tell me you will be there for us....tell me you will meet us....there is a day....Oh! God....Please let us meet her...she is not dead in me...I'm sure she is alive in my parents heart too....please....say that you love us too....I will never forget you....I love you sister!..........I love you.....